If GI Joe: Rise Of Cobra Was Made In The 80's

Who would star in a live-action movie based on the classic children's action figure property GI Joe: A Real American Hero? This is a question many people may find themselves asking today in light of the recent prequel "GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra" (in theaters now) but I have a different query: Who would've starred in a movie based on these toys 20 years ago? I'm talking when this property was the must-have hottest action figure commodity after He-Man or Transformers but before Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? If this film came out coinciding with the animated, televised GI Joe: The Movie serial in approx. 1987 or '88 who would star in it? Well, leave it up to yours truly to figure it all out for myself.

Here now, much like the David Letterman top ten (but not so funny) are my choices for who could portray each character in the imaginary movie. If anything, you'll wonder why the execs at Paramount didn't stop watching Yacht Rock re-runs online and actually make a damn GI Joe movie! Here we go...

1.) Bruce Willis as



General Hawk



2.) Patrick Swayze



Duke



3.) Sigourney Weaver



Lady Jaye



4.) Lorenzo Lamas



Flint



5.) Renee Russo



Scarlett



6.) Mark Dacascos



Snake Eyes



7.) Ving Rhames



Roadblock



These are just the heroes! Wait until you see who I chose next time as members of COBRA!!!! Remember, knowing is half the battle. YO JOE! (GI JOE! *outgoing episode music*)